‘Clara’ Theatrical Review
Of all the people that should never watch this movie, I have to be at the top of the list. It contains virtually every single trope that makes my eyes roll back so far in my head that I can see how small and ugly my brain is. There’s a curmudgeon of a scientist whose life events have only made him more pretentious, secluded, and irritable. There is a counterbalance free-spirited lady that is so wild and crazy that she sits on top of tables instead of chairs –if you can believe someone would do such a thing! Her story is so ambiguous and enigmatic that you can’t help but let her in emotionally because really all she offers is a calm rejection of your most cynical moments –ooooh got ya! There is a vast vinyl collection that only serves to commemorate how great Bob Dylan is, because if you don’t like Bob Dylan can you honestly say you even remotely grasp the artistic beauty that is music. There is an impatience in solving cosmology’s greatest mysteries whose importance constrasts with how stupid and yucky that dingy ol’ notion of “love” is –ughhh blehck gross! Get that love outta here, I got astrology and physics to do!
But that’s probably not any reason why YOU shouldn’t watch this movie. After all, I’m kind of a pretentious curmudgeon myself and I have been known to drown in a sea of contrarianism from time to time. I doubt this is one of those times, but if you like space and movies and love and stuff, this movie definitely has those.
Patrick J. Adams plays Dr. Isaac Bruno, a scientist who cares only about the search for life outside of Earth. Somehow, he’s gotten himself in a hole – not a black hole, which would be really topical given the recent black hole discovery articles and images that came out a few weeks ago, no; it is a hole of depression and cynicism, disdain, and apathy. He creates more trouble for himself as he goes off on tangents in whatever university course he obviously doesn’t want to teach. The complaints about his behavior prove too much and the tragically hip Dr. Bruno is forced to hand in his gun and badge: he’s off the force. Naturally, by gun and badge I mean his telescope access and research credentials and by “the force” I mean team of researchers studying star stuff and looking for life. But … but … his research is all he has!!! He has to keep looking! So he does, but all the grunt work is beneath him so he looks for a research assistant.
Enter Clara (if you are paying attention, she is how we have the title of the movie), actress Troian Bellisario, and she has to get to the bottom of what’s wrong with Isaac and help him. However, she has all her own problems and what if she forgets about fixing herself because this guy that kind of saved her to some degree actually needs some saving himself … and she has a dog, who I assume is a certified good dog. Then they do all the sciencey science together and stuff.
If my run-on sentences and condescension don’t lay out the plot in such a tantalizing way so as to make you want to try this movie out for yourself … well, then there is something wrong with you. Because I nailed it.
See the movie, or don’t, but think of me and people like me when you do. Think about how much of a pretentious doofus I sound like while making a movie review all about me rather than the countless people that worked incredibly hard to put a movie together that I am sure they are proud of. Think about me throughout the well-lit, well-paced, and overall tastefully-done movie because I am a narcissist and if we are all being honest with one another – which I think we like to do – aren’t movies really only about the reviewer?
CLARA tells the story of Isaac Bruno (Patrick J. Adams), an astronomer consumed by the search for life beyond Earth. Convinced that the universe is a dark and lonely place, Isaac meets Clara (Troian Bellisario), an artist who shares his fascination for the wonders of space. Their unlikely collaboration leads to a deep connection, and a profound astronomical discovery.