Dear Ryan Reynolds, We Can Help You
There’s a fine upstanding gentleman from the Great White North who many of you may know. Ryan Reynolds has had some success being a very attractive man, and occasionally playing superheroes in movies, sometimes doing very well and sometimes not so much.
Considering the magnitude of some of these mistakes we here at Project-Nerd wanted to reach out to Canada’s favorite son and offer our help with his new interest in owning a liquor company, Aviation Gin. So the rest of this message is aimed right at you Mr. Reynolds (can I call you Ryan? I’m going to call you Ryan).
Ryan, the first reason you should consider letting us help you is that you’re a Canadian who is making a Dutch drink that was made popular by the imperialism of Great Britain. As a group of Americans that has been known to have a drink or two, we here at Project-Nerd are uniquely qualified to help you grow your new enterprise in the US, one of the hardest drinking countries in the world.
As a newer company ourselves, we have the experience and expertise you need to help build your social media presence, as you can clearly see from our over 10,000 followers. The Facebook and Twitters have proven to be tricky for celebrities in the past and we can make sure you avoid any social faux pas. Also, we’ve worked closely with several popular Australians and can even help squash the beef between you and a certain Mr. Hugh Jackman.
With Project-Nerd on your side, you have a wide range of advertising options. I’m not sure if you have podcasts in Canada but they are all the rage down here in the States. We have several that you can choose from to advertise your, I mean the gin’s, delicious qualities. If amusing nerd banter isn’t your thing a prominent banner placing on our website is sure to add visibility to your gin company.
Lastly, our partnership would rehab your image after some early blunders that folks may not be so quick to forgive. Our audience, nerds and pop-culture aficionados, tend to have long memories and were certainly…upset with some of your earlier superhero work. Let’s be frank, Ryan, people were pissed at these movies. We can help with that. We can leverage our longstanding place in the nerd community to lower the animosity that many have for a silent Merc with a Mouth and CGI super suits.
I hear that your most recent projects have been well received. Now is the time to build on that success and a partnership with Project-Nerd is just the thing you need to help Aviation Gin take full advantage of your current popularity. Let us bring some Midwestern polish to your Canadian stylings, Ryan. Please contact us with any questions or to discuss pricing. We’d also be more than willing to accept a case of gin to review and take with us around the country to different comic conventions to share and spread the good word of Aviation Gin. We look forward to hearing from you, Ryan.